I admit

Ok, I admit it, I'm a screamer.

I so didn't want to be. In my mind's eye I have all the patience of all the saints, but in reality I scream.

Now don't get me wrong, I don't scream insults, I don't call my children names. But it seems sometimes that I can't get their attention without speaking at a very loud volume. I don't know where I get this, my mother didn't scream at me. Dad really didn't either. He would get angry easily, but I don't really remember him hollering (as we would say in the south.)

I always regret it.

I don't mean to do it. Most of the time I just don't realize it until I've said, "ISAAC SOREN, STOP IT RIGHT NOW!!!"

And then, when he gets angry he screams, and I cringe, realizing I have created this monster. And I vow in that moment never to scream again. Oh how many times I've failed. Maybe I should put myself in the corner.