Phat or size 12 is plus sized (What?)

I hate that word.

Ghettofabulous as it is, and I do love the ghettofabulous, I hate that word.

I suppose people were trying to make fat, more acceptable by making it "pretty hot and tempting," but I find it demeaning and inflammatory. Because, of course, if you hear the word you think, fat, but then they say "No, it's a compliment!" Whatever, if you wanna call me fat, be a man use the real word. I'm the one who has to deal with the side effects, you should be man enough to say what you mean.

I was reading an article in people magazine about a model who at one point was anorexic to be accepted in that world, but now she is happy in her plus size self as a size 12. Heeeelllllloooo! 12 is the average size for women in today's society. For most women this would be a really healthy weight, but we have put such constraints on ourself that we feel bad for being healthy.

I know that I am at a point in my life that my current weight is not healthy, which is why I'm doing something about that. Marty gets all ill about the fact that I'm not happy with the way I am, he doesn't understand that I would just like to be around to see my children grow up. I also don't want to be wheezing at the end of a 1 mile walk, I want to be able to run it. It's not about the weight or the size of my clothes, but about being healthy. But I also know that I shop at plus sized stores and a size 12 is not in them.

I am so thankful for a God that looks not at my outward appearance to judge me but the condition of my heart. I am trying daily to follow Him, and I know getting in better shape will do that. It has already begun to affect every area of my life in such a way that I cannot see me ever stopping voluntarily. I want to set a positive example for my children in this area, I know what it's like to grow up the fat girl, and I don't want that for Annaliese. Kids are cruel, and I don't want her to know the pain I knew for something that she can avoid. Not that I would love her any less or think her any less beautiful, and she will grow to be a beauty, that cannot be denied. I pray daily that she has the confidence going into life that I have never had.

Sorry for the double dose of fat, it seems to be more consuming than I thought.